Giving and Receiving... But Mostly Receiving

Gingerbread houses. Snowmen. Slippery ice patches. Hot Chocolate. Twenty renditions of the same five Holiday songs playing nonstop on the radio. Long lines at the store. Cheerful faces. Empty wallets. And if you're me (though I don't think anyone else is), the annual sore throat. If it wasn't clear before, it's got to be now--Christmastime is finally here! That means it's the one time when it is MANDATORY to give and to receive. It's not necessarily a bad thing, unless the former happens to be your kidney and the latter is a stale fruit cake that you yourself gave away three years prior.

And so, in the spirit of me receiving, I am going to post a list of my Christmas wishes. It's not original, and it's going to look a lot more like "My Top Ten Biggest Pet Peeves" but the world should know that these are both things I strongly dislike and things that would make a wonderful gift if corrected.

10. People who chew loudly and with their mouths open. That nasty smacking, heaving, sloshing sound they make is atrocious. Noisy foods make it worse.
9. Toilet paper rolls being installed incorrectly. Yes, there is a right and a wrong way.
8. Sweet pickles.
7. Thinning hair.
6. Girls that tell you they will call you back but never do. You're not the only ones who do it, but it just hurts more when you do.
5. Awkward silences.
4. Ingrown toenails.
3. Bad anti-Mormon propaganda. I don't mean that there are "good" kinds out there, but rather that the large majority are just so poorly presented and flat-out ridiculous. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but if you're going to attack me for my beliefs, at least make an educated attempt.
2. Snoring, in all its forms.
1. Doors for restrooms where the handle is on the inside. If they absolutely have to stay, they should at least provide every facility with paper towels instead of air dryers so that we can open the doors safely without touching the same handle that millions of unwashed hands have grabbed.

Because I realize that some of these things are beyond the control of everyday people I don't expect to get everything on my list. But I've been a pretty good kid this year and seeing even a little change would make this a very merry Christmas indeed. It will take some effort on your part, or maybe I could just stop letting these things bother me so much. At least I didn't ask for a hippopotamus.

Now comes the part where I give something to all you good people out there. Below is a drawing of one of our favorite Christmas celebrities, Santa Claus. It's not a traditional depiction, granted, but that's where the fun comes in. I'm inviting anyone who comments on this post to include their own caption and/or narration of just what jolly old St. Nick is up to. I'll then pick what I deem to be the best and later send that lucky individual a copy of their winning combination as well as an additional drawing of their choice! It's my way of saying Merry Christmas... the blogger way!!

*Note: The future winner should anticipate their requested drawing to be in cartoon form (unless you can convince me otherwise). Also, please don't ask me to do anything too crazy or that would make me feel uncomfortable in producing it. No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited.