My Character CAT Scan

I am competently aware that the handful of people that frequent my blog are family members, meaning they are people that know me fairly well, or in the case of my mother, claim to know me better than I know myself. That's kinda creepy if you really stop to think about it. But we're not going to do that today.

In the minute chance that our government collapses and tribal colonies assume control of the world, driving it back into a state of primal existence for approximately two centuries before extra-terrestrials take pity on our lack of sophistication and return us to a civilized status, therefore creating an interest in uncovering human history, I post this piece on what makes me me so that our descendants can make anthropological assumptions that the majority of our generation thought and acted as I did. Boy, won't that be a laugh...

Most of these things are little oddities about how I function. They are NOT simple statements or trivial facts like "my favorite color is green" [true], or "my favorite artist is Bruce Springsteen" [which is actually a bold-faced lie]. Let's begin:

-For as long as I, or many others can remember, I have been a very defensive individual. I feel the need to stand up for ideas that others disagree with, even if I don't necessarily align with them personally. I also lack a large amount of patience, so I often get frustrated with being so defensive.

-Due to some unexplained reason, my body almost without fail reacts violently to sugar, candy, and other sweets. Think Superman and Kryptonite. I get sick to my stomach, sometimes with nausea setting in. It's why I don't consider myself a fan of chocolate, and in a more positive light, also why I probably have never had many cavities. The only way to avert utter disaster is to offset the sweetness as soon as possible with something salty. My strange approach to solving this problem is why you may occasionally see me sucking on mustard packets or ravaging the fridge looking for pickles or cheese.

-I am 83% afraid of heights. Because of this, I will never ever ever go skydiving or parachuting or any activity requiring me to be at one time suspended and/or free falling. Looking out of the windows of airplanes both frightens and excites me. But mostly it scares me.

-I [still] love cartoons. They made up a large portion of my childhood and taught me so many of life's great lessons. Because of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles I came to understand the side effects of toxic ooze. They just don't give that to you in public school. The only reason I still don't wake up Saturday morning to sit in front of the television is because a) there's a large dearth of good shows on now, and b) society has made it nigh unacceptable for a self-respecting adult to eat cold cereal in pajamas while watching animated happiness.

-Although in reality I am probably a moderate level "nerd," I like to pretend I'm not as big a geek as I most surely am. I don't say more because this is me pretending...

-As one can possibly deduce from some of the reading so far, or much more quickly if you meet me, I am also extremely self-conscious. I've had to train myself to look people in the eyes. Related by a tangent is my attempt to preserve personal space. I hate invasions of my portable bubble. So please understand if I start to adjust or back up when I'm having a conversation with you.

-My tastes go through cycles, so it's hard to pinpoint anything that might be my favorite for an extended period of time. Movies might be the exception, where the Lord of the Rings Trilogy has been my cornerstone for film since its conception.

-I'm immensely afraid of things like using the restroom next to other people. Sometimes I just have to wait, or leave and go somewhere else. I am also equally if not more afraid of dancing. So never ask me to do it. If you persist, you run the risk of being offended. Sorry.

-I've been programmed with a very sensitive conscience. It keeps me from getting involved in activities considered to be salacious, illegal, or combinations of both; it also makes it impossible to cross a street without a walk signal flashing, and causes me to feel rebellious if I don't pull with both hands on the paper towel dispenser like it instructs me to.

The End. Or is it? Yes, it is.