Where is Jimmy Hoffa buried? Who really killed JFK? How does Power Rangers continue to receive air-time? These are just a few of the many questions that go unanswered in our conspiracy infested world. Mine is not an attempt to unveil these mysteries, but rather to shed light on a much more sinister plot.
Contrary to popular and celebrity-endorsed opinion, the substance known as "snow" is actually linked to a multi-level secret society's tainting of the truth. This diabolical white matter has been re-programmed into our minds to be something of a pleasantry, when in reality it is a poison. Just break the letters down, and you'll see that it's actually a shorthand for "Synthetic Nazi Organized Warfare."
Consider the following: Have you ever wondered why your hands hurt so much when exposed to high levels of "snow?" Or have you ever noticed how a seemingly harmless "snowball fight" is eerily similar to combat formation and tactical training?? It's all a ruse people.
Keeping us in ignorance only increases their power. We must unite and cut off the lies before it's too late and we're "snowed in." Think about your children. Seriously--every time you buy one of them a snow-cone you are actually funding psychological terrorism.
How do you know these aren't simply the ravings of a madman with a personal vendetta against all things "snow?" Well, to be honest, you don't. While it's true that I dislike the dandruff-like powder, it is also true that I am NOT a liar. And you can believe that.
11 comments:
What?
Now who's being facetious?! And this is why I think Utah is actually eviler than California. Yes, I said it. And eviler.
Adam, Adam, Adam... This type of conjecture only ends in sadness... or getting duck taped in a wheel-chair, drugged, with your eyelids taped open.
I think I might just agree with you Adam. All of those things you just explained to me makes so much sense. I still like the snow though.
Is this all because you were born in California???
No, it comes from being intelligent... Where were you born?
Excuse me????? I am Adam's mom. And I know exactly how intelligent he is!
Don't shoot the messenger. Let's just say that I agree with Adam's ideas on S.N.O.W. and it's nefarious schemes. You have just fallen prey to my little subterfuge. Don't ever forget, the Internet is serious business...
Adam Borgia, what I love about your sense of humor is that you are SMART funny. Just plain witty. Well done.
That's weird. I've been thinking that Adam is FUNNY smart. But maybe it's the other way around. And is one better than the other?
Hey, I can link where ever I want. But, thanks for noticing. By the way, I think that your ideas are really sharp. I have a business proposal for you I'd like to pitch past you. It involves a TV about TV shows. It has the potential to answer important questions like "what if spiderman had to fight a jedi?" I'll share it with you. Perhaps over lunch tomorrow. I'll have my people call your people.
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