September 1st. Whereas before this date stood for nothing except somebody's birthday somewhere in the world, it will now go on record as the day that I embarked on my quest to achieving proficiency in the use of my left hand.
There are a few reasons for this endeavor.
First, and most immediate I believe, is the possibility of my contracting carpal tunnel syndrome (I phrase that almost as if it's a disease that one can actually catch). Over the last several weeks (maybe months) I've been noticing a numbing pain and ache forming in my wrist and extending bi-directionally towards both arm and fingers. It became particularly noticeable during my Intermediate Life Drawing course, which required not only the upkeep of a daily sketchbook, but 3 hours of drawing continuously for 4 days in a row each week. I took a hiatus for about two weeks thereafter, and while it has helped, I can't take an indefinite artistic sabbatical.
Second, and perhaps more personally, this represents in some ways my coming to final grips with my accident over five years prior which left my left hand unable to function at full 100% capacity. I think I've since adapted to most basic tasks like gripping or holding or twisting things to the point that most of the time I don't even notice the difference--in fact I bet most of you who know me, and don't know much about the accident, also don't notice it. But it's always there, always a reminder of what happened. I think I'm still a little bitter. Not angry, but still bitter. I want to do more than just be able to hold a pen in that hand. I want to do something with it. I want to see some result that proves there is still value in it. Like I said, it's personal.
Third, I am inspired to simply create for myself a goal outside of those placed upon me by school, work, church and others. I don't mean to sound disgruntled in any way by these other goals or their sources. Far from it. Maybe I've just been motivated by Julia Roberts and all that striking imagery from Eat.Pray.Love. Maybe. And just maybe, after all of this is over, I can write my own book and push for its own film adaptation.
That's another goal of mine as well, now that I think about it.
2 comments:
Oh, Adam . . . you always amaze me! So sorry the wrist still bothers you and so proud of you for venturing to try something new. And for overcoming a bad experience by determination.
You're right; I had no idea you had an accident or these other struggles you mentioned. Most probably don't.
But most probably do see how strong you have let them make you.
Ether 12:24,27,29-- thanks for living it. :)
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