What's In Your Pasta?

Comics Appreciation Questionaire (Best Coolest)

2011-05-02T10:09:00.000-07:00

1.Outside of school and your comics, have you written any fiction or non-fiction? Do you like to read prose fiction or non-fiction?
-Yes, I have written both fiction and non-fiction. Reading fiction is my preference.

2.Would you say you have a good awareness of the history of American comics?
-I would say I have a "fair" awareness of their history, but I wouldn't call it "good."

3.Off the top of your head, could you name 5 artists who worked in comics before 1980? Do you have a favorite?
-I could probably name one or two, but I wouldn't be able to identify the name of my favorite artist without researching again.

4.Could you name 5 artists who work or worked in newspaper comics?
-Yes. I regularly read the funnies sections of newspapers, and I always stop to read the cartoons that people or teachers post outside their offices or by their studios. Gary Larson, Jim Davis, Charles Schultz (these are probably the same as Chad's, aren't they?) and a couple mroe I just can't place right now.

5.Could you name any contemporary cartoonists from Europe? Do you have a favorite?
-I cannot name any European artists off the top of my head.

6.Could you name any contemporary manga artists from Japan? Do you have a favorite?
-No.

7.Do you read European comics?
-I read a comic or two of "Asterix and Obelix" (a French comic that's been around forever).

8.Do you read any manga?
-No.

9.Do you regularly draw in a sketchbook or write in a journal?
-Yes. Mostly the former.

10.Would you say you have a good working ability to drawing with brush and ink? If so, how long have you used a brush? What types?
-I would say I have a good grasp of working in ink. I usually prefer to use a dip pen over a brush, but that is currently the kind of work I have been doing most frequently in my artwork.

11.Which magazines or websites do you regularly read in order to get comics news?
-I read IGN a lot for comics and/or media updates.

12.Which magazines or websites do you regularly read in order to get news of current events?
-I don't read printed newspapers or visit their website equivalents very much. Sadly, most of what I know from current events comes from my friends' facebook updates. It's a little sad.

13.Do you go to comic book conventions or festivals? If so--which ones?
-I've been to comic stands and stores before, but never an actual convention.

14.Have you ever sat through a portfolio review with a professional editor? If so, could you briefly sum up their message for you?
-Yes. He was an editor and art director with Deseret Books. He interviewed everyone in my Business for Illustration class last year. He gave me good feedback--very little by way of criticism--and encouraged me to start putting my stuff "out there." He was one of the people that have encouraged me to pursue my current style in art (pen & ink with washes).

15.Have you ever had your work published? If so, where?
-Technically, no. I did however illustrate a family's book about two years ago (20 illustrations) that they had printed. It was small, I didn't get paid a lot, it was very hard and frustrating, and I don't know if I want to do it again, but I did learn from it.

16.How long have you been drawing?
-I have been drawing for as long as I can remember. I think Ninja Turtles, Sonic, Garfield, and Looney Toons (the Roadrunner specifically) were my muses at the time...

17.Do you like to go to museums? Do you have any favorite "fine" artists, either living or dead? Film directors?
-I love going to museums and galleries. I don't think I have a favorite artist, as I tend to focus more on the art itself and less on the names attached to them. There are a lot of old masters I'm drawn to though. Carl Bloch is one of my heroes (and this was WAY before they did an exhibit on him in the MOA). And a lot of the "Golden Age" illustrators like J.C. Leyendecker, Norman Rockwell, N.C. Wyeth, and Maxfield Parrish are definite inspirations to me. Some contemporary artists at work today that I admire are folks like Jillian Tamaki, Scott McKowen, and Jack Unruh. I really like the directing ability of Francis Ford Coppola ("The Godfather" movies). Christopher Nolan is on the top of my list too ("Memento" blew my mind). Joe Wright is also great (he directed "Pride & Prejudice" and most recently "Hanna"), as those films he works on are some of the most beautifully shot pictures in recent memory.

18.Would you think it could be useful or beneficial to watch a film or films as a group and discuss it afterward as it may relate to comics? Do you have a recommendation for such a film?
-I'm obsessed with films, so YES! I love looking at the superhero genre of films and their relation to comics. But that's kind of too easy. Shyamalan's second film "Unbreakable" is great in my opinion, and provides a very interesting take on the comic book itself.

19.What ethnographic background do you have and how confident are you in acting as an expert of resource of that background?
-Ethnographic? Well, I'm Italian. I'm aware of a lot of my ancestors' (seedy) history. I think it's fascinating. I'm not an expert yet, but I could become one.

20.What comic or book or movie have you read/seen at least 5 times? And 10 times?
-I've seen way more movies than I have read comics. "The Lord of the Rings" is a must. "Indiana Jones," "Star Wars." I love sagas. I've stopped counting how many times I've seen them. And "Monsters, Inc." is probably my favorite animated film ever. So far.

Art Show Photos

2011-02-10T09:22:00.000-08:00

Sheesh, it's been a long time since I put something on here.

Just in case you didn't see the link on my facebook page, here are the photos from my recent Alice in Wonderland inspired art exhibit, "Curiouser and Curiouser."

Ambidextrous

2010-09-01T09:52:00.000-07:00

September 1st. Whereas before this date stood for nothing except somebody's birthday somewhere in the world, it will now go on record as the day that I embarked on my quest to achieving proficiency in the use of my left hand.

There are a few reasons for this endeavor.

First, and most immediate I believe, is the possibility of my contracting carpal tunnel syndrome (I phrase that almost as if it's a disease that one can actually catch). Over the last several weeks (maybe months) I've been noticing a numbing pain and ache forming in my wrist and extending bi-directionally towards both arm and fingers. It became particularly noticeable during my Intermediate Life Drawing course, which required not only the upkeep of a daily sketchbook, but 3 hours of drawing continuously for 4 days in a row each week. I took a hiatus for about two weeks thereafter, and while it has helped, I can't take an indefinite artistic sabbatical.

Second, and perhaps more personally, this represents in some ways my coming to final grips with my accident over five years prior which left my left hand unable to function at full 100% capacity. I think I've since adapted to most basic tasks like gripping or holding or twisting things to the point that most of the time I don't even notice the difference--in fact I bet most of you who know me, and don't know much about the accident, also don't notice it. But it's always there, always a reminder of what happened. I think I'm still a little bitter. Not angry, but still bitter. I want to do more than just be able to hold a pen in that hand. I want to do something with it. I want to see some result that proves there is still value in it. Like I said, it's personal.

Third, I am inspired to simply create for myself a goal outside of those placed upon me by school, work, church and others. I don't mean to sound disgruntled in any way by these other goals or their sources. Far from it. Maybe I've just been motivated by Julia Roberts and all that striking imagery from Eat.Pray.Love. Maybe. And just maybe, after all of this is over, I can write my own book and push for its own film adaptation.

That's another goal of mine as well, now that I think about it.

Blog Makeover

2010-07-10T17:22:00.000-07:00

I just discovered that Blogger has recently revamped and upgraded their template and design options for blogs. So naturally I spent an unspecified amount of time updating all of my blogs, coating them with a proverbial fresh coat of paint and everything.

So go check 'em out. And then try it yourself (there are several of you out there who are due for a face-lift. Technologically speaking, not literally...)

Guilty Pleasure(s)

2010-06-28T10:44:00.000-07:00

So my latest are potato salad (always and forever) and hip-hop music. Honest.

What are yours?

New (Art) Website

2010-04-19T20:21:00.000-07:00

This is different than a blog. It's supposed to be more professional. Plus there is a picture or two included in the gallery there that I haven't posted elsewhere...

Here it is: adamphilipborgia.weebly.com

Check it out.

How To Train Your Dragon Review (the Blogger's Digest Version)

2010-03-27T21:54:00.000-07:00

I just saw Dreamworks' How To Train Your Dragon today with my brother Kory. I believe I've already stated that I have a general and automatic love for most things that are animated. So that was enough to go and see it.

But I don't think I was prepared for just how much I loved this movie. Part of me didn't want to (I have a standing bias against Dreamworks based upon past films). Part of me hoped it would fill the gap left by their previously totally awesome Kung Fu Panda. And the largest part of me was blown away.

I was smiling the whole time, start to finish. And that might be the highest compliment I can give to any movie. Now go see it.

I Don't Jaywalk...

2010-01-27T18:08:00.000-08:00

Do You???

Breakfast

2010-01-14T11:50:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had Quaker Oatmeal Squares? I can't say yet whether they are my favorite cereal ever, but I can say that they are definitely my favorite kind to chew! It's practically the highlight of my day--I wake up and roll out of bed (almost literally), sit on the floor, finally get to my daily workout routine, take a shower, etc...

and THEN I come downstairs to pour myself a bowl of delicious geometric oatmeal shapes (this actually makes them sounds kinda gross). Well, first I force myself to take my medicine (a mix of powdered vitamins, water, juice and an energy concoction that tastes like BBQ Noni fruit), but THEN I let my tastebuds enjoy a five-minute parade of flavor and texture! Hooray!

Go buy 'em and try some!

The End (of the semester, not the world or anything... I'm not a fatalist)

2009-12-19T08:17:00.000-08:00

Within the last calendar week, I have done the following:

1. Prepared and taught an Elder's Quorum lesson
2. Started and finished TWO art projects (a painting and pen & ink piece)
3. Later made adjustments to both of the above projects before submitting in each of their final portfolio reviews (art assignments are never "done" the first time)
4. Went on a double date--even won my first game of pool
5. Finished my home teaching assignments (we even taught two of the girls twice--long story)
6. Began studying for my Organic Chemistry final... took my Organic Chemistry final
7. Bowled a couple games to finish off the league season
8. Began studying for my Biochemistry final... took my Biochemistry final the same day
9. Worked almost 20 hours
10. Packed, cleaned a bit, and wrote this blog post

And it was ALL done while being sick, and I don't just mean the sniffles.

Notice: New Art Blog!

2009-11-06T16:35:00.000-08:00

Although it has been in the works for a while, and has even technically existed in cyberspace for nearly a year now, I have finally added content to my "newest" blog.

Entitled, The Cheese Gallery, its intent is to be first and foremost, an electronic viewing space of my past, present, and future (???) artwork; its second function is to be really whatever else I want it to be. The current subtitle implies some connection to food, as does the title really, but since its conception I have become more aware of my sensitivities to certain groups of food (dairy and I have a love/hate relationship--I love it and it hates me). But it is what it is.

There are three posts already (a personal record!) for your enjoyment and/or apathy. Consider yourselves notified.

Chimichangas and My Love Life

2009-10-08T07:47:00.000-07:00

You can draw the strangest comparisons in life. Did you read the title?

I bought a pack of chimichangas from Costco last week with my roommate, thinking we would divide the lot between us. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but we had just eaten several different free samples and so were filled with endorphins, as well as on a tight schedule and I don't always fare the best with quick decisions.

Soon after this I began receiving numbers that one would normally use to enter into an electronic device for talking (such as a phone) so as to contact another person (such as a girl). Whether it was from coworkers or from people back home via my mother, I accepted the information with surprisingly little argument.

I've since eaten two chimichangas. They don't taste like the picture on the box told us they would, and they look even less like their advertised, photoshopped counterparts. And so they sit in our freezer. My roommate has already tried pawning off his half of the stash to the other tenants. I however, am not one to waste a purchase, no matter the question of quality. Rather I have rationed them out so that I know exactly how many I have to eat every week--it's not all that bad really, since giving a few days buffer in between each consumption will probably lengthen my lifespan more than the overzealous consumer.

So what does this have to do with calling girls and, by extension, dating? I thought it was obvious... Aside from the observation that both have a tendency to make my innards unsettled, there's the fact that, like the deep fried meat sacks, those phone numbers also sit in storage. Not in the freezer mind you, but either in a drawer or on my phone memory. And before I can reach in and go for the next one, I can't help but think about many of my past ventures [frowns]. My buffer period for socializing has long passed though to the point of it being almost unhealthy for me now. And unlike the "food" in question, I know this latter issue is ultimately a good thing.

But the apprehension is still there.

5

2009-08-11T12:42:00.000-07:00

Several weeks back I remember talking to my sister on the phone (as I am frequent to do at the end of my day, often for no other reason than to escape or delay total boredom), only for her to quickly change whichever subject we were on to that of a new brand of ice cream. It was interesting at the time--I do like ice cream myself after all, as well as occasional bits of conversation regarding the dessert. But soon after the call was ended I did what any white male American will do (and what the white female has come to expect us to do)... I forgot about it.

Fast forward to now only several days ago where the viewer, omniscient stranger or stalker finds me at the local grocery store, where I was, oddly enough, buying groceries. I don't recall what prompted me to walk down the frozen food section. Actually I do, it was pizza. At any rate I saw out of my right eye's corner and through the fogged glass to a pint of the ice cream my sister so enthusiastically endorsed. The name is "Five," or "5" as I have once again forgotten much about it. The name/number refers to the list of ingredients, which are so simple and take up so little space that they put them on the front! Incredulous I know, but true.

This is all going somewhere, trust me. As I thought more about this unique ice cream I began thinking of things very un-ice cream in nature. Things that eventually led back to myself (you see I'm lactose intolerant, which technically makes me very un-ice cream in my nature). So I thought and eventually said to myself, "Self, how might you describe your person in only five words or things?"

And so here we are. If you aren't yet bored, I can promise that the following will be a nearly complete compilation of ingredients that make Adam the Adam you all know and tolerate. Honest. What I can't promise is that said information will suddenly make you unbored.

1. Art - I think I've got more artist in me than anything else, be that a good or bad thing. It's the one hobby or time occupying habit that I remember doing the most. It will probably go away when I die (or in keeping with this "ingredient and food" theme, expire).
2. Science Fiction - I include things like my love of movies in here too, since my favorite ones are usually fantasy based. Mostly though I'm referring to Star Wars. Everything and anything Star Wars. Really folks, it's HUGE. I don't think any other IP out there can touch this thing.
3. Religion - This encompasses a lot (family, church, etc.), and since my posts tend to be sarcastic and largely inconsequential, I don't want to go into this serious of a topic here and now. But it's there.
4. Cartoons - They're closely related to my affinity for movies and art, but basically I'm saying that anything animated (and not of poor quality) I like, and often love.
5. Eating - I may not look like much of an eater on the outside, but believe me when I say my insides love this. My latest 'thing' is applying this practice to ethnic foods. I still have a special place in my heart (and colon) though for old favorites. You know who you are. Mmmmm.

These are only the most recent. It could all change tomorrow (except Star Wars), but that won't mean I'll have a new post to reflect that.

Done.

Eat It

2009-07-10T15:46:00.001-07:00

Quick Poll Question for everyone: What's the weirdest/most disgusting thing you've ever eaten?

Metamorphosis

2009-06-05T12:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was 22. Today I am 23. I aged an entire year in a 24-hour window... What just happened?

(Unofficial) Spring Break

2009-04-23T15:40:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Earlier this month I went to Hawaii. My dad and brother were there too. It was fun. I'm really tired now...

Giving Time to Make Time

2009-03-21T12:34:00.000-07:00

I was fortunate enough to get to attend the temple this morning. The competition for my time this weekend includes cleaning the apartment, working on art sketches and compositions, and writing a research paper. It's funny how, sometimes, you have so much going on in your days and weeks and lives in general that you can't figure out how spending a few hours "outside" the activities of the world will work.

Thanks to the stalwart examples of two fantastic parents, I've always known that going to the temple was important, if not always the why. That part I have had to find our for myself. In fact, that is half of the enjoyment I derive from temple attendance. This won't mean quite the same thing to anyone else, though I'm sure you know what I'm getting at, since our thoughts and feelings are just so personal.

I don't know how it works, but I always feel better upon setting one foot inside. All that worry and anxiety doesn't follow me in. It's often there to meet me upon exiting, but over that last hour or two I've been better equipped and prepared to deal with it.

Happy First Birthday, Lil' Miss Elsie

2009-03-11T19:40:00.000-07:00

As of this afternoon (the hour being as yet unspecified--darn daylight savings time), Elizabeth Rae Summers was brought into this lovely world, which is actually all the more lovely with her in it. She is the first daughter/niece/granddaughter/sister born for our growing quasi Borgia-Summers family.

I can't think of a better thing to have happened for us in a long time. I also can't think of a better family for her to be born into, with two fantastic parents and an equally too-awesome-to-believe older brother. Congratulations to you both, Beth and Brad, and congratulations to anyone else who will at some point have the privilege of knowing this wonderful girl. Again, Happy Birthday my sweet little Elsie!

Love,
Uncle Adam

Can I Blame This on the Economy?

2009-03-05T18:27:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry to all those (the four I can count on my hand anyway) who've been reading my cartoon blogs, particularly my most recent one, but "Skum of the Universe" has to be put on productive hold indefinitely... I had hoped to be able to work on it in between other art projects this semester, but that just has not been the case.

It's not because I don't care, or that I don't enjoy it anymore--I just don't have the time and energy that I feel it, and thus all of you deserve. Believe me, no one can be more upset than me, and I still have plenty of ideas of where I wanted to go with this and later comics, but schooling simply has to take precedence right now. Please find a way to still be happy.

Color Coding

2009-01-23T14:40:00.000-08:00

You can use colors to identify what kind of person you are, what that mystery mass moving in your tupperware is, and even your mood(s). It can be argued (and if you want, I will argue it with you) that all of these things--your personality, your emotions, and even the things you eat--have an impact on your day to day development as a human being [this it not to imply by deductive reasoning that I consider anyone without a personality, feelings or the desire to eat unable to qualify as a person... they have done that all by themselves]. Combine this now established "fact" with the harsh reality that this is my blog, and while you are reading, I technically own a part of you, and soon we arrive at the conclusion that I can say anything else I want afterward and expect you to comply. Which leads me into my next thought...

It is only reasonable then to proceed to assign each of the seven days of the week a corresponding color. Please note that although you might have different opinions based off of your experiences and/or relationship with the days, it is only my views that ultimately matter and are taken into account. Also, there is no consideration taken here with those who are color blind and thus cannot relate. I am sorry but I had already started this process before I realized that. Moving on:

Sunday- Green. It wasn't always this way, but it is official until I change my mind again. There are very few shades, tints and tones of green I do not like. The same can be said of my Sundays, which are almost always varying degrees of pleasant. White also works because it has an appropriate 'clean' connotation to it, although not truly a color.

Monday-Purple. This might be my most difficult to label. Like the color, they can almost always start out attractive enough, but it doesn't take too much to make them unappealing.

Tuesday-Orange. I am learning to appreciate and understand this day. And its attached hue has also begun to endear itself to me. Let me make it clear though, that it is still not within the ranks of Sunday/Green or Friday/Red. It still has a long way to go, but it is making good strides.

Wednesday-Blue. Blue, along with this day, can be one of the most striking and captivating things you can experience, if executed correctly. Sadly, this is not always the case. But Wednesday has a nice sound to it, and I have to give it recognition for managing to confuse everyone with its spelling at some point.

Thursday-Black. Because nobody likes you, Thursday. Black is also not a color, but somehow you manage to make it fit you.

Friday-Red. Not just any red. Bold red. Strong, fierce, independent red. I do not see this one changing. Ever. I love you Friday, even with your faults, few though they be.

Saturday-Brown. This is not an insult to the day. It actually happens to bear one of my favorite colors (yet again, the term "color" is not entirely accurate). Some browns just take it too far in the end, and I've had many, many Saturdays that started out a glorious and beautiful tan and ended up as mud. It is not unlike a blissful session of cartoons being uprooted by hard labor and chores. Why, Mom and Dad? Why?

Done. That's the way it is. You can tell me what you might change, but as I said earlier, it won't make much of a difference. Hey, I don't make the rules. Well, actually I do.

2K8 In A Nutshell (Pistachio I Think)

2008-12-27T17:05:00.000-08:00

Yes, I know that I have four days left in the year, but I'm turning in early... so unless I win the lottery, discover a new planet or inherit my own tropical island, you're probably not going to hear about until next year.

The year didn't start out with a bang (although I'm sure something exploded somewhere), but was exciting enough. I had already planned early on to take the summer off, so the course I took through the semester was a race for the finish so I could finally take a breather. At this point I was still enrolled as an Art History major at BYU, so I loaded up on the study of the dead and dying from around the art world, as well as completed that university's religion requirements once and for all. Towards the winter's end--just about when spring sprang--I wrapped up my portfolio for submission into the Visual Arts program.

What a relief that was, yet too soon swallowed up by the anxiety caused by my quick placement onto a near three month waiting list (jumping into the narrative future I can disclose to anxious readers that eventually I was accepted). Mixed in these crazy few months, I managed to finish one series of cartoon (eventually to be followed by another).

The summer months brought with them perhaps the most concentrated amount of activities, opportunities and emotions out of any previous chunk of my life thus far, including my mission (whose one year anniversary also fell during this time). There to greet me upon my return home was Dorothy, my faithful and sturdy (i.e. built like a decommissioned army tank) fire engine red 1994 Pontiac Grand Am. She was the perfect symbol of transport in the life metaphor that would become, in many ways, my personal Odyssey. The reference to the epic Greek poem is fitting mostly due to the likelihood that we--meaning my Father and I--traversed the same lands and seas as that story's famous hero (assuming he was more than a work of fiction of course). The trip to Italy and its surrounding countries was also in many ways a return home for the two of us, since we claim it as the land of our forebearers. The breathtaking vistas and rolling countryside were akin to a siren's song for that country's prodigal sons, and the ancient ruins with all their history were as a sorceress' spell bidding us to stay. But linger we could not (partly because that wasn't on the itinerary), for there was much else to do back in our real home. Like get a job.

So that's what I did. My ventures weren't as fruitful as I would have dreamed, but that's what fathers are for. And so it came to pass that for the duration of the summer I toiled away in his office cave entering data, filing who-knows-what and organizing numberless piles of paper and pamphlets. I actually quite enjoyed myself.

I also ought to mention that I was privileged to volunteer in our own Mesa temple for several weeks in the baptistry, where, as one might expect, I was privy to several wonderful experiences. The sacredness and importance of these first ordinances are sometimes lost to those of us who haven't been back since we were youth. It was very refreshing.

My educational hiatus was over far too soon, and I found myself back in the lifestyle of dirty sinks, shared living quarters, singles wards and shaving requirements. This Fall semester also became---and I say this without the slightest hesitation--the hardest and most pressing period of school in my life. I was trying to balance the physically demanding tasks of the first year art classes with the mentally exhausting science courses of chemistry and human physiology--polar opposites on the scale of learning. Every weekend was a workload, and I had little to no time for "fun." This being said, I am happy to say that I also feel as if I have accomplished more during this time than any other. The words of one of my old instructors come to mind, that "busy people are the ones who get things done." And I did a lot.

The amount of stress and pressure that I felt was equal the level of relaxation I felt upon coming home for the holidays; letting my brain, heart and body do and think little more than nothing. Christmas was as wonderful as always, if a little smaller in company than I remember. I also felt more strongly the beginnings of letting go of that special something we had in plenty as children. More and more it's become less and less about me. It's almost enough to just have it be us. Nothing beats family.

Well that's that everyone. Until next year. Here's hoping an odd numbered year can outdo this one. I'm skeptical of course...

[Quickly looking this latest entry over, I'm starting to think that a pistachio doesn't quite describe the size properly. I think I had the wrong nut. What would you have used?]

And You Thought This Was A Real Post...

2008-11-29T21:05:00.000-08:00

Ha. Ha ha ha. Well sorry, but it's not. Not really. Although, the more I type, the more it becomes one. Oh my gosh--what am I doing? I've been sucked into starting something just to spite all of you and now I'm actually fulfilling your hopes and dreams! Where's the delete button? Blast, I think I just pushed the 'publish' icon!! NOOO!!!

Don't Hate Me Because I'm Lazy (or Beautiful)

2008-09-26T14:00:00.000-07:00

I'll make this short. For any of you people out there who are frustrated with my posting dearth, I urge you to return the sniper rifles and cross me off of your hate list. In my defense, I've been too busy. Yes, too busy to write something that should only take five minutes to spit out (but with all my steps in proofreading is closer to an hour), and far and away too busy to have anything to do with my cartoon blogs.

Believe me when I say with complete sincerity that there is almost nothing else I would rather do right now than to sit down and draw out another comical adventure. But less than a month into this new semester I'm founding out it may just be my busiest yet. In fact, the only reason I'm even putting this up is because one of my plans to work on a class project fell through--well, that and my sense of guilt mixed with responsibility to all of you (and a fear of headshots...).

So I hope you all can forgive me, but even if you don't it doesn't matter because I've learned to forgive myself. Things will happen when they happen.

My Borgia Biopsy

2008-08-06T08:28:00.000-07:00

Having spent the last few weeks corresponding with doctors, unorthodox "specialists," and overly concerned mothers, I am finally able to compile my most comprehensive list of current biological conditions. You don't have to read any further. Avert your eyes if you choose, because the truth may shock you.

The required process of poking and prodding was complicated more by my already discovered fear of needles. [Big or small, it doesn't matter--and no, shots are not the same thing as having blood drawn. Putting something in is quite different than having something taken out. It's inside for a reason.] Alas, I was forced by my inherent existence as a man to submit to their vampirical lust. I don't know who they're trying to fool by hiding their insidiousness behind their white coats.

Starting with the most obvious and outwardly manifested issues with which I am plagued, one will notice my stark lack of height. Because of this I have had to choose my company carefully to reduce the frequency of extreme latitudinal comparisons. None of my close friends play basketball. For the longest time I consigned myself to the belief that this is due simply to family genes. In reality, the cause is a deep rooted fear, practically printed on my DNA, of vertical extremes. Vertigo, for all you Hitchcock fans out there. It is then simply a matter of self preservation that restricts my body from reaching even average height.

Along with the loss of a few inches, there is another bodily feature that seems to be missing. I don't know exactly when it happened, but my butt has inexcusably taken an unspecified leave of absence. Suffice it to say that, without any severe change to diet or exercise, many a pair of pants, shorts and slacks have become alarmingly baggy in the rear pockets.

Moving internally now I will discuss what has become a fairly recent nuisance. Chronic stomach pains, ranging from moderately discomforting to nauseating have plagued me for the better part of a month now. Many self-proclaimed experts may quickly attribute this to medicinal side effects or just label it as a consequence of lactose intolerance. And while it is true in some part that I can no longer fully tolerate the friends I once called cheese, milk and ice cream, I believe the real culprit is much more simple. You could say that it is "in my stars." My early summer birthday places me in the zodiacal definition of a Gemini. What that means then is that somewhere, unbeknownst to me, is my cosmic, if not identical twin. My hypothesis is as follows: due to the suddenness of my predicament, the only explanation is that my twin has also suddenly been inflicted with a legitimate injury to their person. Gastric bypass surgery perhaps, a sustained gunshot wound, or even cancer. Consequently, my own displeasure is nothing more than an astronomical case of sympathy pain.

Amidst all of this discovery I have also learned that my cholesterol is slightly higher than normal. But that's nothing a breakfast routine of Cheerios can't fix. Thank goodness too, because I might have started to worry otherwise.

The Year Dot

2008-07-21T13:26:00.000-07:00

Not too long ago I made a point to mark the three-year anniversary (if it can rightly be called as such) from when I left home to begin a two year mission.

Today though marks for me a much more significant anniversary. On July 21st, 2007 I returned from said mission. One year. The number is smaller, but the occasion carries a lot more weight.

My next few thoughts may sound negative, but I prefer to think of myself more as a realist. That weight sometimes feels like a ball and chain--just light enough to keep from hindering any progress, but heavy enough to remind me lest I forget that, when comparing the two years "on" with my now one year "off" lifestyle, the latter withers in terms of productivity and accomplishment. Before, everything I did was part of working towards a goal; but now, with several, less defined goals moving in waves around me I feel a bit lost.

It's not an inherently sad day. My sweet mother is baking a much anticipated apple pie to celebrate. But in regards to the feelings of loss and separation, I think it's appropriate to dress in black for the duration.

The Homecoming

2008-07-06T12:23:00.000-07:00

After what can arguably be labeled as one of the best weeks of my life, I have returned from visiting far off and exotic lands to my sweet, native country. No place on earth, no matter how inspiring, how fascinating, how incredible can ever replace the pleasantness of being home, especially in time for its birthday celebration.

I don't mean to criticize Europe, or more specifically the countries of the Mediterranean--well, maybe just a little bit--and so for those who would like to know a little about the excursion we embarked upon, I will include some highlights.

Let's start with the ship, shall we? Best. Food. Ever. I could stop at that. I've never eaten so many delicious and rich types of food consecutively in my life and not been ashamed for it. Chile catfish with fruit salsa and rice almond pilaf. Fried Brie in phyllo dough with an apple cranberry glaze. Chocolate Mousse bread breading with vanilla cream sauce. I will miss them all...

Our complete tour started and ended in a little port city just outside of Rome known as Civitiveccia. For the seven days in between then, we made port at locales like Taormina, Valletta, Dubrovnik, Naples and Florence (a good place to get lost in, which actually is exactly what happened). It was often a startling mix of Old and New with bustling city scenes bursting out of century old fortresses, or in some cases, 2,000 year old ruins. Sicily had its rugged beauty and relaxed atmosphere. Malta was a captivating history lesson on its own. Croatia was an antique paradise. Pompeii was a "blast from the past" (and for those of you who know its story, the pun was absolutely intended). The Tuscan countryside and its cities are a revelation and a dream you only wish you dreamt more often.

But in all honesty, despite my love of each of the places we visited, I felt a little nag as if something was missing. Maybe it was the city planning and structuring with which my wonderful Mesa has spoiled me, or the lack of any local church buildings. Sure, there were plenty of those other kinds of churches, but hopefully you know what I mean. There are a lot of different kinds of freedom to experience out in the world. And even the wonderful freedom from cares and inconveniences that come with a luxury vacation don't compare evenly with the deeper ones we get to enjoy here.

Farewell Italy, with your painted landscapes and romantic charm. Perhaps I will return to you someday. But until then, it's good to be back.

A Series of Fortunate-And One Unfortunate-Events

2008-06-23T08:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a big day for the Borgia family, and what I really mean is for me.

First, I celebrated (using the term very loosely) what marked three years to the day since I left the comforts of the West to spend two years in a suit wandering around the humid and allergy unfriendly Ohio Valley region of the Midwest. Highly recommended, by the way.

Second, I managed to lose my right contact during the middle of a church service and, while I did locate the little bugger, was forced to wait until the proper interlude before I could make a run for the restroom (dire circumstances are no excuse for showing disrespect). The whole switch from glasses is still new for me, and upon seeing the shriveled lens I gave up on fixing it then and there. So what else was there to do but drive home with one eye closed like a pirate missing his eye patch through late afternoon traffic? No, seriously, what else could I have done?

Third, the entire family--minus the cool one who was still away on vacation--joined together to create a delicious and not a little complicated dinner including grilled salmon with lemons and onions, broccoli with a white cheese sauce, Parisian salad and asparagus wrapped in bacon. It was a fitting meal to end mine and my dad's last weekend in the country before embarking on our biggest adventure yet.

Yes, that brings us to the last bit of "big" news. Leaving early Tuesday morning, my father and I will be flying in to the great city of Rome to begin our week long cruise of the Mediterranean. Some of you may be saying to yourselves that this is just not fair. Maybe it's not, but I don't care and at this point it's too late for you to do anything about it. It's a dream come true for me and one I've been waiting twenty two years to experience. And in some way, it'll be a bit like coming home for two of the motherland's prodigal sons. Arrivederci!

The Sloth and the Slug

2008-05-22T12:06:00.000-07:00

I'm afraid I've contracted the lazy disease, a mutated strand of the bird flu which crossed with the West Nile Virus and leaves its victims lethargic and occasionally useless except as pieces of furniture and decoration.

The symptoms are starting to show. My sleep patterns are off, I'm constantly tired and weak, and lately I've developed this bad habit of not being able to finish anythi

Curtain Call

2008-05-13T11:30:00.000-07:00

It's finished. What began on November 20th, 2007 has officially come to an end as of May 11th, 2008. The excitement, the laughter, the tears, the secrecy, the subliminal political propaganda is all done--for now, anyway. The exploits and exploitations of Frankie Pascetti may return in a second volume at an unspecified date.

In the meantime however, newcomers and faithful blog perusers alike can catch up on the latest (and last, in case you weren't paying attention) adventure or revisit the life of "The Hair" from its humble beginning to the thrilling conclusion (watch out, it's a doozy to get through) by clicking here. Ciao.

Super Moms

2008-05-11T22:04:00.000-07:00

It's at the end of the day already, but by golly I'm determined to give my tribute, as small as it may be, to all those hard-working, loving, genetically enhanced mothers out there.

Yes, you read correctly. It's a secret that few have ever discovered, and my own life might be in danger just revealing it to the world were it not for my own super mom to protect me. Here are just a few lesser known facts about the women in our lives.

1. Mothers can read minds--they always seem to know exactly what you're thinking, even when you're not thinking about it. The modern day polygraph tests were designed in classified labs from studying their brain waves.
2. Mothers have the awesome death stare ability--this is how all the scientists who performed the research mentioned above never lived to fully complete their work. Evidently it started a huge controversy over the proper use of powers at the time, and is why it is more commonly seen in its non lethal "evil eye" form today.
3. Mothers can see into the future--if ever you've wondered how your mom or spouse has been able to predict what you would do before you did it, now you know. Why do you think they always like to say "I told you so"?
4. Mothers can exhibit super strength--this is actually the most documented phenomenon. Moms have been witnessed lifting planes, trains, and automobiles off of endangered or injured children, and the occasional household pet.

So there it is folks. There are more mysteries surrounding these powerful sentient beings we call mom to be uncovered. But everything I've told you thus far is absolutely true, and is not--I repeat, NOT the product of a sleep deprived and paranoid mind. So even though I know you're all listening somewhere, and despite the fact that I know that you knew I was going to say this, Happy Mothers Day!!

The Final Finals Finally Finished

2008-04-25T09:27:00.000-07:00

Good day to all of you happy people. And good riddance to the dastardly debilitating finals, exams, tests and anything resembling a measurement of educational performance. Borrowing heavily--but not so much as to run the risk of copyright infringement--from the famous chief Geronimo, I proudly proclaim that "I will test no more forever."

Forever though, for me, is more a state of mind; or, to be explicitly precise, four months of summer. I will be spending my forever at home, away from the blistering, blustering cold of Utah, which only served to compound the maliciousness of school and its pernicious finals.

But even the rejuvinating rays of the Arizona sun cannot offer me permanent sanctuary. For alas, the time will inevitably come that this lone sojourner of higher education will once again return to brave the perilous perils of university life. Forever may not even be long enough.

[Insert Title Here]

2008-04-10T09:47:00.000-07:00

The rumors are true. I am still alive. I did not get abducted by probing extra-terrestrials, spontaneously combust, get drafted or contract mono, all which frankly sound better than the real reason for why I haven't posted anything in exactly 9 days, 5 hours and 41 minutes.

The better excuse for my blogging hiatus would be to say that it is finals time here at school, and that these weeks leading up to exams have been full of busy work. The other excuse is that I momentarily suffered an identity crisis and so had to buy a Porsche and "find myself" in Yemen--but that's inconsistent with the first excuse, and is also false. I've never been to Yemen.

The biggest piece of news I have to report is that I have received a letter back from the BYU Visual Arts Program. After waiting for almost a month, they were kind enough to tell me that I have the privilege of waiting for yet another month--plus a half month in interest--for their final answer. Bleh.

[The] I have now just realized that all of my paragraphs have begun with "The." Except this one. So to keep things orderly, by the time you finish reading this sentence you will understand why I had to go back and add the "the" afterwards and thus why it doesn't make any sense. But hey, I drive a Porsche. I don't have to make sense.

The (Bi-)Polar Bear Club

2008-03-31T12:16:00.001-07:00

Just the other night I was invited by none other than the lead singer for a self described "experimental rock" band known as Bi-Polar Bear to an elite and private showing. Okay, so technically he also happens to be my cousin, but let's not ruin the experience with semantics.

I believe in synergy. By engaging multiple outlets wherein their band and music can be advertised, the group taking Utah County by storm will soon expand into other territories such as Northern and Southern Utah and potentially--dare I say--other states. So should Danny and his fellow band members feel obliged to, oh I don't know, write a song perhaps about yours truly, the cycle of synergistic power will continue. And it will be unstoppable.

For those whose virgin ears have yet to aurally absorb the kill-tastic reverberations of Bi-Polar Bear, and for those whose eyes have yet to gaze upon the stupefying spectacle that is said band, I humbly attempt to bring to light this wonder of the underground melodious world.

Bi-Polar Bear is Bi-ographical:
-True story. Band members base every line of every song off of actual life events. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll get to know the real men behind the music. It's like a window into the soul. A window you can hear through...

Bi-Polar Bear is Bi-lingual:
-While none of their songs (so far) dabble with multi-lingual wordplay, the members themselves are aptly capable of singing beyond the trite "English" vocabulary we are all so tired of listening to.

Bi-Polar Bear is Bi-furcated:
-I'm not entirely sure what this means. Perhaps it implies that there are two distinct parts to their music--the traditional and the aforementioned experimental. Or maybe that they're like a fork. Yes, that's it. A tuning fork by which all other bands and artists can be compared and tested against.

Now that you have all seen just what you're missing you have no excuse. You, my friends, are accountable, and you owe it to yourselves and your children, and your children's children to investigate the mystery that is Bi-Polar Bear.

*Disclaimer: The above information is mostly false. Meaning I made it up. Except for the bilingual thing. Some of them speak Danish, and one might speak Spanish, though I didn't ask. The pictures, however, are real.

"Watch Out, They Spit"

2008-03-26T12:16:00.001-07:00

I would try to explain what exactly is going on here, but after thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that it sometimes less is more. It kinda just says it all on its own, don't you think? If you're still not satisfied, I'd be interested to see some examples of inventive captions or dialogue to help tell the story.

At least we sort of match...

And just a little note: I'm not sure which face is stranger--mine or the Llama's.

The Eager Easter Bunny

2008-03-22T20:13:00.000-07:00

I don't know how it happened, and if you try to explain it to me chances are I still won't understand why it happens the way it does year after year. But the point is that everyone's favorite furry long eared rodent is here, fast on the heels of those inebriated green-lovin' leprechauns.

With Easter here, I would just like to send a friendly reminder of what this special day is all about. Go too far back in history and you'll get mixed up with crazy pagan cult rituals; too far ahead and it's become a commercialized sugar fest. But somewhere right in the middle you'll remember that a very special person did something no one could have done, and offers us each the gift of a fresh start. May we all take advantage of that as we think about the great blessing the Savior is to every one of us.

And just to keep some level of fun in all of this, I'd like to know how you all spend or plan to spend your Easter, whether it comes in April or March. So go ahead, count all your eggs before they hatch--or rather, before you find 'em all wherever they're hidden. Then, enjoy! My favorite kinds are the plastic ones filled with money...

A Game of Tag -or- What Happens When I'm Too Lazy To Come Up With My Own Original Posts

2008-03-20T14:41:00.000-07:00

Bleh. Does the title give enough away already? I admitted recently to my much more productive sister that I find it strangely difficult to find anything worth posting on a regular basis. I'm serious about the lazy part too. Before long you might come across a post here one day exhibiting a collection of lint that I've extracted and collected from our laundry machines. Let's pray it never comes to that.

So here it is then. My sister "tagged" me on her blog, and now I have to continue the process or else choose between the curse of getting struck by lightning or listening to a repeating loop of Chumbawamba's greatest hits.

A-Attached or Single: Single.
B-Best Friend: I'm fortunate to have several good friends as well as a handful of non-hostile acquaintances, but I'd still have to say my best friend is my sister, Beth.
C-Cake or Pie: I take back that 'attached or single' bit. I'm very attached to pie. Cake's gotta be moist if it's even gonna come close.
D-Day of Choice: It's easier for me to say which days I don't like. Tuesdays and Thursdays are dead to me. Saturday was always the day I had to mow the lawn, but occasionally we got to go to the movies afterwards. I'm undecided on that one I guess.
E-Essential Item: Chap stick. My family knows that this is not a joke either.
F-Favorite Color: Green. Everything's better with more green. Except the Green Peace. There's no hope for them.
G-Gummi Bears or Worms: Um, neither. I don't like candy very much. If it's sour you might convince me.
H-Hometown: Mesa is and will perhaps always remain my home, but I was born in Salinas, California. So I claim dual state ship.
I-Indulgence(s): What the...? Do I have to answer that one? Well then I'd have to say yogurt, but not just any yogurt. Thick & Creamy is happiness in dairy form.
J-January or July: Seriously, who comes up with these questions? July. I hate the cold.
K-Kids: None. I still am one.
L-Life Is Incomplete Without: Family. Dogs. Meat. Yogurt. But not necessarily in that order. Yogurt's still really high up there.
M-Marriage Date: Hello, I said I was single. Is anyone even paying attention to these things?
N-Number of Siblings: Two. Older sister, younger brother, and the occasional dog that became a substitute. But my my siblings are cool enough that they each ought to count for two.
O-Oranges or Apples: Oranges, because mushy apples are an abomination. Now, if it's a crisp apple... I'd still have to go with oranges.
P-Phobias or Fears: I posted something related to this a while back. In a nutshell though, I'd say heights, flying insects, dancing and deep water.
Q-Quote: Dang. Beth stole mine.
R-Reason to Smile: Well I'm still alive aren't I?
S-Season: Summer's already happenin' cause that's when I was born, but I actually prefer the Fall, when things are a little cooler. And dying.
T-Tag Six: I can't think of six right now. Sigh. I'll take the lightning, please.
U-Unknown Fact About Me: I wear my socks inside out.
V-Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animal: Don't you like how they worded this one? I mean if you admit you eat meat you're automatically labeled as an Oppressor. So if Hitler were a vegetarian that would make him better???
W-Worst Habit: I think it would have to be sarcasm. Or maybe it's just indecisiveness.
X-X-Rays or Ultrasounds: Well, the "ultra" in ultrasounds makes it sound cooler...
Y-Your Favorite Food: London Broil. Yes, meat. Even the cows that probably serve no other purpose than to feed us. I enjoy a good one with Hitler every now and again.
Z-Zippers or Zebras: Come on. This doesn't make any sense. These two aren't even related. They're just two words that start with a "z." Fine. Zebras, for when I can't get beef. Zippers snag.

There. That oughta hold y'all back for at least another week or so.

The Pasta Turns 15!

2008-03-11T13:56:00.000-07:00

Well, sort of... What I mean to say is that my blog has just reached its 15th post. That's a big number. Sure, maybe not when compared to the big bloggers who monopolize the search engines with their "three-posts-a-day" habits, but it's at least significant.

Besides, I've decided I really like the number 15. It's a nice, solid figure, and it's quite fun to write. In the past when I've had to take math classes, sometimes the only way I could get through the days was to try to make the assortment of numbers and signs on the pages appear aesthetically pleasing. It was like working on a piece of art. Strange, but true. What are your favorite numbers and why?

Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?

2008-02-28T12:40:00.000-08:00

After recently perusing through other people's blogs I have become slightly disappointed in my lack of religious undertones--or overtones, side tones and any kind of tone for that matter.

A perfect example of what one should be doing lies within my increasingly mature younger brother, Kory. Like a pest-control summer sales recruiter I (in cohorts with my sister, Beth) coerced him into beginning his own blogging journey. And what did he do with it? Exactly what our church leaders have encouraged us to do, which is to publicize the Church's teachings and their effects on our lives. Even now it's been impossible for me to not inject some dosage of sarcasm and cynicism into my post; by stark comparison I would invite everyone to view his and others' more edifying comments.

I'm not without some shreds of hope however. I didn't start this post simply to complain. I actually had my own spiritual pensive moment as early as last night. While reading in the scriptures about the Savior's teaching about the last days, he made the allusion to a thief coming in the night. Yes, most of us have heard that before. But the later verses struck me a little harder than normal (though not in a painful sort of way--dang it, there I go again!). Ahem. As I was saying... The Lord proceeded to explain that while one may not know precisely when a thief might arrive, if that same individual knew during which "watch" the thief would come, that is to say, had an approximate idea of when to expect him, he could better protect and preserve his house. In the same way then, while none of us know when those last few days and hours will be, we have been told it is soon and to be on our guard, ready and waiting.

Having read those words, I stretched out on my bed and thought about what that could possibly mean to me, right now at this time. With all of the stress of school combined with other pressing items, I might just catch myself one day with my guard down, unprepared for the Bridegroom's arrival. It's not that homework and having a social life are bad things, but if I let them become bad distractions from a more important responsibility I could become a dreaded "unfaithful servant" so often referred to. My mind then wandered to a more positive plane of reflection as I considered what were the things I could do, starting then, to check myself. Ironically enough, laying down and being idle was probably not the best way to start out...

So I'm opening up the comment box for any of your ideas on the matter. Now, just let me clarify that I'm not looking for you to tell me what you think I should do, but rather what you're doing or will do as it applies to you. Make sense?

P.S. In an unrelated topic, please please please take my poll that you can see to the right. I'm trying to get a feel for how well read my comic blog is (although I have a pretty good idea) so I can know how often to post something new, or whether I should just wrap it up.

S.N.O.W.

2008-02-14T10:02:00.000-08:00

Where is Jimmy Hoffa buried? Who really killed JFK? How does Power Rangers continue to receive air-time? These are just a few of the many questions that go unanswered in our conspiracy infested world. Mine is not an attempt to unveil these mysteries, but rather to shed light on a much more sinister plot.

Contrary to popular and celebrity-endorsed opinion, the substance known as "snow" is actually linked to a multi-level secret society's tainting of the truth. This diabolical white matter has been re-programmed into our minds to be something of a pleasantry, when in reality it is a poison. Just break the letters down, and you'll see that it's actually a shorthand for "Synthetic Nazi Organized Warfare."

Consider the following: Have you ever wondered why your hands hurt so much when exposed to high levels of "snow?" Or have you ever noticed how a seemingly harmless "snowball fight" is eerily similar to combat formation and tactical training?? It's all a ruse people.

Keeping us in ignorance only increases their power. We must unite and cut off the lies before it's too late and we're "snowed in." Think about your children. Seriously--every time you buy one of them a snow-cone you are actually funding psychological terrorism.

How do you know these aren't simply the ravings of a madman with a personal vendetta against all things "snow?" Well, to be honest, you don't. While it's true that I dislike the dandruff-like powder, it is also true that I am NOT a liar. And you can believe that.

My Character CAT Scan

2008-01-29T10:08:00.000-08:00

I am competently aware that the handful of people that frequent my blog are family members, meaning they are people that know me fairly well, or in the case of my mother, claim to know me better than I know myself. That's kinda creepy if you really stop to think about it. But we're not going to do that today.

In the minute chance that our government collapses and tribal colonies assume control of the world, driving it back into a state of primal existence for approximately two centuries before extra-terrestrials take pity on our lack of sophistication and return us to a civilized status, therefore creating an interest in uncovering human history, I post this piece on what makes me me so that our descendants can make anthropological assumptions that the majority of our generation thought and acted as I did. Boy, won't that be a laugh...

Most of these things are little oddities about how I function. They are NOT simple statements or trivial facts like "my favorite color is green" [true], or "my favorite artist is Bruce Springsteen" [which is actually a bold-faced lie]. Let's begin:

-For as long as I, or many others can remember, I have been a very defensive individual. I feel the need to stand up for ideas that others disagree with, even if I don't necessarily align with them personally. I also lack a large amount of patience, so I often get frustrated with being so defensive.

-Due to some unexplained reason, my body almost without fail reacts violently to sugar, candy, and other sweets. Think Superman and Kryptonite. I get sick to my stomach, sometimes with nausea setting in. It's why I don't consider myself a fan of chocolate, and in a more positive light, also why I probably have never had many cavities. The only way to avert utter disaster is to offset the sweetness as soon as possible with something salty. My strange approach to solving this problem is why you may occasionally see me sucking on mustard packets or ravaging the fridge looking for pickles or cheese.

-I am 83% afraid of heights. Because of this, I will never ever ever go skydiving or parachuting or any activity requiring me to be at one time suspended and/or free falling. Looking out of the windows of airplanes both frightens and excites me. But mostly it scares me.

-I [still] love cartoons. They made up a large portion of my childhood and taught me so many of life's great lessons. Because of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles I came to understand the side effects of toxic ooze. They just don't give that to you in public school. The only reason I still don't wake up Saturday morning to sit in front of the television is because a) there's a large dearth of good shows on now, and b) society has made it nigh unacceptable for a self-respecting adult to eat cold cereal in pajamas while watching animated happiness.

-Although in reality I am probably a moderate level "nerd," I like to pretend I'm not as big a geek as I most surely am. I don't say more because this is me pretending...

-As one can possibly deduce from some of the reading so far, or much more quickly if you meet me, I am also extremely self-conscious. I've had to train myself to look people in the eyes. Related by a tangent is my attempt to preserve personal space. I hate invasions of my portable bubble. So please understand if I start to adjust or back up when I'm having a conversation with you.

-My tastes go through cycles, so it's hard to pinpoint anything that might be my favorite for an extended period of time. Movies might be the exception, where the Lord of the Rings Trilogy has been my cornerstone for film since its conception.

-I'm immensely afraid of things like using the restroom next to other people. Sometimes I just have to wait, or leave and go somewhere else. I am also equally if not more afraid of dancing. So never ask me to do it. If you persist, you run the risk of being offended. Sorry.

-I've been programmed with a very sensitive conscience. It keeps me from getting involved in activities considered to be salacious, illegal, or combinations of both; it also makes it impossible to cross a street without a walk signal flashing, and causes me to feel rebellious if I don't pull with both hands on the paper towel dispenser like it instructs me to.

The End. Or is it? Yes, it is.

Odds and Evens

2008-01-17T12:40:00.001-08:00

I can't decide which I like more--the years that are divisible by two or those who defy simplicity by making division inexorably more difficult. 2007 had its ups and downs; 2008, or Y2K8 as I like to call it (but never really do) is already showing potential... what kind of potential it might be, for good or evil, I'm not quite sure of yet.

With the New Year coming in I've jumped on the bandwagon of resolutions. Actually, I think I missed the first one and had to settle for the second-class wagon, where the company's not as good and they charge you for what should be complimentary peanuts. I wonder if since I wasn't at Dick Clark's magical celebration drinking champagne and being kissed when the ball dropped if any resolution I make even counts. If it doesn't, don't tell me.

So getting back to the whole "resolutions" thing... I've resolved to be more outgoing, emphasizing the dating scene. Along with that I resolve to discover the reason why all of my friends have managed to be flying light years ahead of in this area while I'm still puttering around with inferior courting technology.

More important to myself (because I feel I have more control over it), I have resolved to apply for the Arts program at my university. It's incredibly hard to get accepted, but I figured I couldn't keep running around this campus doing something I'm less passionate about without knowing I tried.

I wish everyone else out there in both the real and cybernetic world a happy, or at least tolerable, New Year. May you be fortunate in your pursuits, unless it's a crime, and avoid any falling pianos.

Giving and Receiving... But Mostly Receiving

2007-12-17T12:07:00.000-08:00

Gingerbread houses. Snowmen. Slippery ice patches. Hot Chocolate. Twenty renditions of the same five Holiday songs playing nonstop on the radio. Long lines at the store. Cheerful faces. Empty wallets. And if you're me (though I don't think anyone else is), the annual sore throat. If it wasn't clear before, it's got to be now--Christmastime is finally here! That means it's the one time when it is MANDATORY to give and to receive. It's not necessarily a bad thing, unless the former happens to be your kidney and the latter is a stale fruit cake that you yourself gave away three years prior.

And so, in the spirit of me receiving, I am going to post a list of my Christmas wishes. It's not original, and it's going to look a lot more like "My Top Ten Biggest Pet Peeves" but the world should know that these are both things I strongly dislike and things that would make a wonderful gift if corrected.

10. People who chew loudly and with their mouths open. That nasty smacking, heaving, sloshing sound they make is atrocious. Noisy foods make it worse.
9. Toilet paper rolls being installed incorrectly. Yes, there is a right and a wrong way.
8. Sweet pickles.
7. Thinning hair.
6. Girls that tell you they will call you back but never do. You're not the only ones who do it, but it just hurts more when you do.
5. Awkward silences.
4. Ingrown toenails.
3. Bad anti-Mormon propaganda. I don't mean that there are "good" kinds out there, but rather that the large majority are just so poorly presented and flat-out ridiculous. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but if you're going to attack me for my beliefs, at least make an educated attempt.
2. Snoring, in all its forms.
1. Doors for restrooms where the handle is on the inside. If they absolutely have to stay, they should at least provide every facility with paper towels instead of air dryers so that we can open the doors safely without touching the same handle that millions of unwashed hands have grabbed.

Because I realize that some of these things are beyond the control of everyday people I don't expect to get everything on my list. But I've been a pretty good kid this year and seeing even a little change would make this a very merry Christmas indeed. It will take some effort on your part, or maybe I could just stop letting these things bother me so much. At least I didn't ask for a hippopotamus.

Now comes the part where I give something to all you good people out there. Below is a drawing of one of our favorite Christmas celebrities, Santa Claus. It's not a traditional depiction, granted, but that's where the fun comes in. I'm inviting anyone who comments on this post to include their own caption and/or narration of just what jolly old St. Nick is up to. I'll then pick what I deem to be the best and later send that lucky individual a copy of their winning combination as well as an additional drawing of their choice! It's my way of saying Merry Christmas... the blogger way!!

*Note: The future winner should anticipate their requested drawing to be in cartoon form (unless you can convince me otherwise). Also, please don't ask me to do anything too crazy or that would make me feel uncomfortable in producing it. No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited.

Confessions and Felicitations

2007-12-15T09:49:00.000-08:00

I hate it when things are unnecessarily redundant. For example, I have two working blogs, but the last two or three posts on this one were merely informing you about what was happening on my other one. See? Lame.

I'm afraid I've been ignoring the "pasta" and have been favoring the "spaghetti" and for those of you who prefer this particular blog, I am sorry. So unless something so cosmically astounding occurs I will try to reserve these posts for topics relevant to this site (if you want to know what's happening in that other world you can look for any polls or surveys on the side or check it out for yourself).

So for anyone who actually wants to know what's happening in my life, here's a quick rundown: It's finals week and the next few days before Christmas will be spent being tested on subjects I will probably just forget in time for next semester. It's either a feast or famine of things to do, so if I'm not running around trying to turn in assignments or meet for study groups I'm probably watching a movie, eating, doing both or writing on my blog, like right now.

Merry Not-Quite-Christmas everyone!!!

Frankie Gets Some Friends

2007-12-05T17:01:00.000-08:00

Dear Bloggers,
Hopefully you have at this point at least stumbled across my associated blog describing the animated (and questionable) adventures of the Pascetti crime family. It's still in its first few stages, and for right now all that's available are some drawings and sketches. I figured it would be best to introduce the characters before including them in a comic strip. It's fun for me and could be for you too--or a good way to waste more time. Tell me your thoughts!

Blog Gets New Name

2007-11-20T14:52:00.000-08:00

As you have probably noticed, the blog once titled "A Hair in the Spaghetti" has been renamed to what you now see above. Why the change? Well, some people have commented that the original title didn't make much sense. This is not to say that I'm a complete pushover when it comes to critique (keep in mind that I do bruise easy though) from viewers, since I have been planning to give the aforementioned title to the newly created online comic associated with this site.
It's still the same "me" folks, who if you didn't like before then I hold no hope of convincing you otherwise just by altering words or colors. So there.

Experimental Online Comic Unveiled!

2007-11-20T14:45:00.000-08:00

Remember everyone, this is exactly what it sounds like--an experiment. I can make no absolute promises in regard to its production. I am first and foremost a college student (with additional priorities) and secondly an inexperienced online cartoonist. I've done comics before, but not quite like this. Still, I think it's worth a shot...
You can visit the newly created site, which currently exists as its own blog, by clicking on its link to the right. I hope you can get some sort of kick out of it.

A Case Study: What Results From Too Much Free Time to Think

2007-11-16T16:02:00.000-08:00

One day I was thinking, which happens sometimes if you're not careful to catch yourself... and this is the thought that came to me--that people crave attention and interaction so much that they are willing to do almost anything to get it.
For instance, I noticed that a new post on any given blog has a limit in attracting comments by viewers (including friends, family, stalkers and government personnel). It's not a lie, because comments on my last post stopped coming several days ago. And because I crave human attention and interaction so much, I am now producing a new post--albeit one void of anything substantial or cute or flashy--that I fully anticipate will result in more comments from all you good people. These will in turn create a fabricated sense of belonging and a boost in self-esteem in yours truly (i.e. me).
If you don't believe me, I triple-dog-dare you to go as long as you can without releasing a new post of your own and see how the human-interaction synapses in your brain (it's a real part of the brain discussed in a non-existent scientific journal that I never read) begin to break down. Yes, you could resort to the archaic system of hand-written mail or even phone calling to get your fix, but let's be real here--We all like the pretty colors of personalized blogs and the feel of the keys against our fingers as we type too darn much. Oh what a tangled electronic web we weave! Now... don't disappoint me people...

New Semi-intriguing Comic In Works

2007-11-04T18:43:00.000-08:00

Currently under construction is the tentatively titled "A Hair in the Spaghetti: The Secret Files of a Culinary Hitman," named obviously after the blog itself. Preliminary sketches and ideas are being shot back and forth (no casualties as of yet) for the soon to be released comic. Also planned is involvement from whichever poor unsuspecting saps ever visit the blog, where they can actually vote and decide the fate of the story's main character Frankie "The Hair" Pascetti. Don't hold your breath.

A Day That Will Live In History

2007-11-03T14:02:00.000-07:00

... This is my very first posting on my very first blog. Now I understand what that British guy in that one play about something meant when he said "we few, we happy few." You see, the not-so-prestigious group I classify myself into (not to be officially named here for security reasons) wouldn't normally venture into the vast world of blog spots; those who do and live to tell about it and/or continue posting meaningless entries that only take up space and create the illusion of something worth reading are indeed "few." Enjoy. Or don't--it could just be, after all, an illusion...